Brandon Cravey
For those of you who don't know, Brandon Cravey, one of my oldest and closest friends, was killed Monday night in a car wreck. Jason and John Paul and I recieved a call at about 12:00 that there had been an accident, and we rushed to the hospital, where we waited for about two hours.
Eventually a few Sheriffs entered the room, and stated matter-of-factly: "Mr. Cravey, your son Brandon has just been killed in an auto accident."
Jesus fucking christ the reaction of his parents will haunt me for the rest of my life. The sound they made was that of someone being fucking broken by the world, all the hope and joy in their eyes died right there in front of me. The world's engine rips us all to shreds and I just can't fucking understand it.
I've been walking around since then in a daze, and I still can't wrap my head around this. It's too huge, it doesn't even seem real to me. How the fuck is this the order of things? Luckily Jason was down visiting me, and he was a pillar of strength who really helped me not go crazy from all of this. I can't thank him enough.
One of the worst parts of this whole thing is that I've had to maintain my composure in order to help those around me. Since Brandon's parents are out of commision from their grief it has fell to me and a few other close friends to put the word out and give people solace. Calling my friends and informing them that someone they're close to has died has been so fucking awful. I never thought I'd have to make calls like that, and certainly not ones regarding someone this young.
I really don't know what to say. I'm just writing this to get some of these feelings out so I don't fucking collapse, and also to let people know that an amazing person has left the world. Brandon was the funniest person I've ever met, he cared deeply about those around him, he was so intent on being a good person, and he didn't fucking deserve this. He was like a brother to me, and I loved him deeply.
I'm going to miss you, you silly, glorious bastard.
I'm going to try for sleep now, the next couple days will be filled with black clothes, viewings and funerals, all the assorted wreckage of the waking world.
Eventually a few Sheriffs entered the room, and stated matter-of-factly: "Mr. Cravey, your son Brandon has just been killed in an auto accident."
Jesus fucking christ the reaction of his parents will haunt me for the rest of my life. The sound they made was that of someone being fucking broken by the world, all the hope and joy in their eyes died right there in front of me. The world's engine rips us all to shreds and I just can't fucking understand it.
I've been walking around since then in a daze, and I still can't wrap my head around this. It's too huge, it doesn't even seem real to me. How the fuck is this the order of things? Luckily Jason was down visiting me, and he was a pillar of strength who really helped me not go crazy from all of this. I can't thank him enough.
One of the worst parts of this whole thing is that I've had to maintain my composure in order to help those around me. Since Brandon's parents are out of commision from their grief it has fell to me and a few other close friends to put the word out and give people solace. Calling my friends and informing them that someone they're close to has died has been so fucking awful. I never thought I'd have to make calls like that, and certainly not ones regarding someone this young.
I really don't know what to say. I'm just writing this to get some of these feelings out so I don't fucking collapse, and also to let people know that an amazing person has left the world. Brandon was the funniest person I've ever met, he cared deeply about those around him, he was so intent on being a good person, and he didn't fucking deserve this. He was like a brother to me, and I loved him deeply.
I'm going to miss you, you silly, glorious bastard.
I'm going to try for sleep now, the next couple days will be filled with black clothes, viewings and funerals, all the assorted wreckage of the waking world.
posted by David at 9:12 PM
9 Comments:
jeezus
i heard yesterday morning.
my deepest condolances, buddy.
he will be sorely missed.
i really dug brandon; what little time i hung out w/him. great memories of him.
rest in peace.
Matt -- He thought highly of you as well. I'll give your regards to John.
keep in mind you do not have to be a savior. give yourself room to breathe and grieve with your friends. try not to think that you must maintain at all times; this is your time to become as emotional as you need as well.
hang in there.
Aún no logro creer que un amigo tan querido como Brandon haya podido morir. Estuve con él el domingo y el lunes...o sea, sólo un par de horas antes de que él falleciera. Creo que mi alma está entumecida. Es decir, no he podido llorar ni estar de luto porque mi cerebro no permite que yo sienta pena ni nada. Creo que todo es simplemente incomprensible para mí. Si él hubiese tenido ochenta años entonces yo habría podido bregar con toda la pesadumbre y habría llorado. En cambio, con un amigo tan joven y tan cercano, me cuesta muchísimo imaginar que ya no esté aquí. Aún cuando lo vi tumabado en el ataúd todo me pareció una broma pervertida e inapropiada. Nunca se me pasó por la mente que este chico, se nos hubiera muerto. Creo que nosotros, los jóvenes, nos creemos infalibles e invulnerables...hasta tal punto que es difícil que nosotros aceptemos la muerte. Quiero decir, siempre pensamos que la muerte nos llegará después de muchos años y vivencias. Es incomprensible que alguien se muera cuando todavía sea tan joven. Brandon estaba en el apogeo de su vida...sólo tenía 22 años. Y, lo más inquietante de todo, es pensar que fácilmente podía haber sido cualquier de mis amigos o, incluso yo mismo. Que descanses en paz amigo mío. Espero volverte a ver algún día. Te mando un abrazo fuerte, desde la tierra a la ultratumba.
I've never met Brandon, but the whole thing sounds horrible. Terribly sorry.
Thanks everyone for the comments.
You're all good people.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Post a Comment
<< Home